Through The Meat Grinder Part 2

with Stephanie Jones from Casually Intense

Welcome to Through the Meat Grinder. This article is a part of a weekly guest series. You can find the other posts in the series here.

I can’t explain how I connect with people on Substack in ways that I almost never do out in the world. We like each other’s work and have a similar drive, compassion, and sense of humor. I dive deeper, and everyone I feel this way about is a little bit like me. They are not quite like me, as they come from different places and have different characteristics and wildly different stories. After 10 sentences of conversation with these new connections, I learn why we are drawn to each other. We’ve been through something. We have a depth that only comes from having lived through something that pushed us past our limit. We became something else to get through it. Our soul was scarred from keeping us together when all of our systems signaled alarm at the same time. We got through it. We learned more than we ever should have. We learned to make peace with this knowledge so we could sleep at night. Getting through that thing pushed us in different directions. Our lives were shattered, then pieced back together. We have this connection between us because we have been to the same place. Overload. And the only other thing we may have in common is that we are both still here, taking life one breath at a time.

I never leave a raised hand unanswered. I had read some of Casually Intense’s articles, but I really only met Stephanie a few weeks ago in the simplest way. I sent a Substack note to the world about how collaboration was changing me for the better, and I asked if anyone wanted to collaborate. Stephanie answered quickly. I pitched her my idea for this series about vulnerability, trauma, and strength through growth, and she responded…with a DRAFT. These are not easy questions, but she handled them casually and with great intensity.

Stephanie Jones writes about boundaries, big feelings, and bounty. She writes about surviving systems, healing in public, and keeping a sense of humor while life is on fire. She talks about the systems that we interact with at work and the price we pay emotionally for their inadequacies. Casually Intense brings a unique blend of feeling and emotion to the workplace discussion. She is a poet dismantling antiquated ways of work one line at a time. Her ideas give us hope that we can shake ourselves free of these inadequate systems and become something more.

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Casually Intense,

Welcome to Through the Meat Grinder.

1. Describe a time that the world has ground you into pieces, and putting yourself back together helped you become who you are today?

I don’t think it’s ever just one moment. It’s usually a stretch of time where things stop holding together the way they used to. For me, it was a period where I was showing up, performing, doing what I needed to do… but internally nothing felt stable. What I realized later is I wasn’t breaking because I couldn’t handle life. I was operating within something that had no real support built in. So it looked like I fell apart, but really, I was trying to hold together something that wasn’t meant to last long-term. Putting myself back together wasn’t about becoming stronger. It was about becoming more honest about what I actually needed to function.

2. What has helped?

What helped wasn’t one big thing. It was a few small things that actually held. One of the biggest shifts for me was letting go of the idea that I had to feel grateful while I was struggling. I actually wrote about this in “Gratitude Can Wait.” Forcing gratitude too early can feel like you’re dismissing what you’re actually going through.

Support 1 – Stability Over Intensity

I stopped looking for things that fixed everything and started looking for things that helped me get through a day, or even just that moment/hour minute.

Support 2 – Language & Understanding

Being able to name what I was experiencing changed everything. It reduced the confusion and that overwhelming feeling of willfulness.

Support 3 – External Support

And honestly, having people or professionals who are trained to handle that level of weight matters. To carry alone is optional, but it really helped me, and I highly recommend finding some form of support or community to lean on.

3. What hasn’t helped?

A lot of what people suggest doesn’t actually help when you’re in it. What hasn’t helped is being told to just be grateful for it all when things feel heavy.

That’s actually why I wrote, “Gratitude Can Wait.” Because sometimes pushing gratitude too early creates more pressure instead of relief.

It can make people feel like they’re failing at coping, on top of everything else.

Miss 1 – Oversimplified Advice

Things that sound good but don’t match the reality of how heavy it feels.

Miss 2 – Pressure to Bounce Back

There’s an expectation to recover quickly or quietly, which can make it worse.

Miss 3 – Internalizing Everything

Thinking that everything is your fault when much of it is situational or structural.

4. What is one thing you’d like everyone to know so they will be more prepared when the world grinds them into pieces?

You don’t need to be fully okay to keep going. A lot of people think they have to solve everything before they can move forward. That’s not how it works. Sometimes the goal is just to reduce the friction enough to get through the moment. You don’t have to force yourself into gratitude or clarity right away. Sometimes stability comes first. The rest can come later.

Gratitude can wait. Getting through the moment can’t.

Please remember to attempt to stay kind to yourself during this time.

Not everything that feels like a personal failure actually is. Sometimes it’s what happens when a person is carrying more than was designed to hold. To let go and change what is being held, start by observing the patterns (the cycle you’re finding yourself in), then write down how you want it to look, and take one micro action towards the design you wrote down. It can be embarrassingly achievable, but that is the beginning of the climb out of the dark.

About Stephanie Jones

Founder of FLEek (Frictionless Loyalty Engine) - focuses on how systems impact people, performance, and consistency.

Background in high-pressure customer experience/healthcare operations environments

Known for breaking down complex experiences into clear, honest insights

Speaks on burnout, pressure, inconsistency, and what happens when people operate without real support

Writes under Casually Intense - explores healing in public and pattern recognition

Perspective: not everything that feels personal actually is - a lot of it is structural

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Through The Meat Grinder Substack is the start of a new chapter for me. I want to build a community and create a podcast to share stories of combat veterans and trauma survivors. Someday soon, the podcast will follow the structure of this series. I want to share stories of those people we loved, told by the people who loved them. I want to talk to combat veterans and trauma survivors and share their stories of living and thriving to find out what helped them, and what didn’t. I want to probe neuroscientists about the changes that happen to our brains during trauma. I want to talk to psychologists and behavioral therapists who study PTSD every day. I want to make enough noise to make a difference. I want to change 22 veteran suicides per day to 0 per day. Nobody who has volunteered to devote their lives to our country deserves to end their lives alone. I want to give survivors hope, I want to give survivors options, and I want to give survivors real facts about what is happening inside their brains during the traumatic event and in the years after. I want to give combat veterans and other traumatized humans something to think about other than their pain and suffering. I want everyone to live meaningful lives, especially the broken souls. Through the wound is the only way to receive the gift. I want to give back to the world that has done so much for me. Thank you for being a part of this collaboration. Send me a direct message if you would like to contribute to the series.